How Many Times Am I Going To Start Over?

Every time I start a weight loss plan of action I always seem to start with the best of intentions.  Sometimes sticking to it for several months and seeing great success and other times the momentum stays with me for barely a few weeks.  Well I am now in a place where I need to be more physically fit. I am currently at a Post where we cannot leave the compound except for official travel which is basically your trip home to visit family.  There are two gyms and a pool – all three are open 24hrs a day.  My problem is that there are so many people utilizing them that are physically super fit (the ones that have muscles and six-packs, heck some have eight-packs) that I feel really embarrassed going in there to jiggle my fat on a machine – all 280lbs of me.  I know that they are probably concerned with themselves only, but I have such a veil of embarrassment because of my size (the regular self-hate of letting myself get this big) that I of course think that they are all staring at me.

In other news I joined the “100 Day Challenge” at work.  I weighed in last week at 280lbs – which means that over two months since I last weighed myself I managed to lose 5lbs.  Pretty good I think.  However, when I went in for my first weigh-in after a week on the challenge I was still 280lbs.  That’s good in that I didn’t gain any weight, but frustrating.  I have also been dealing with the ‘Baghdad Crud’ which I think has been hampering my attempts at eating better this past week – having a delightful bronchial cough with oodles of phlegm makes me exceptionally tired.  I am feeling better today so hopefully I will be able to get in a little exercise this evening after work as I do have a little bit more energy.  My official goal set by the challenge leaders (our Health Unit) is to lose 10% of my body weight by the end of the challenge.  I have to lose 28lbs to reach 252lbs.  It seems a bit daunting to me as I have been between 285 and 290lbs for the past two years.  But there is a financial reward for this challenge.  To participate you pay $30 – whoever loses 10% of their body weight gets the pot.  If several people lose 10% then they split the pot by the number of people.  There are 50~ people signed up – typically about half of the people will quit the challenge by the mid-way point so I think that I should at least double my money.  The financial motivation in addition to being lighter is helping me keep focused – ESPECIALLY when I walk past the dessert bar in the cafeteria (the food is free so you can get as much as you want – not good for a food junkie like me, but thankfully there is a small salad bar and some fresh fruit available too).

I drank 100ozs of water yesterday and am going to try to hit that number again today.  I have also been having 8ozs of vanilla soy milk a day to replace the fruit juice I had been having and I have managed to have either a bagel with cream cheese or oatmeal with brown sugar every morning for breakfast so far this week along with one piece of fruit.  Lunch has typically been a Caesar salad with one fried spicy chicken strip and a cup of carrot and celery sticks.  Dinner is usually the same salad and veggie combo with the addition of some boiled eggs.  I am staying clear of the cooked foods because they are either salty, oily, or heavily sauced – some of it is pretty tasty, but very caloric and the servers don’t listen when you ask for a little bit.  I still have problems with not cleaning my plate…makes me feel guilty, especially considering where I am in the world.

Anyway – I am feeling intensely motivated so hopefully I will not have to start over again ever in my life.

14 weeks to go

I have half-heartedly been working at this weight loss thing for many moons now, but I am really trying to up my game to be healthy. 

I am challenging myself to do the following for the next 14 weeks:

• drinking more than the minimum 8 glasses of water
• eating more protein
• eating more fruit and vegetables
• eating less pasta and rice (trigger foods for sure)
• doing more exercise daily - in addition to walking I need to use my exercise dvds at least 5 times a week

Simple things, but for whatever reason they have been difficult for me to implement in the past.

I plan on making myself more accountable - blogging at least once a week if not more, posting my weight loss or gains, and witing about the positives in addition to the negatives.  Less whining!!

I hope that everyone out there is doing well and has made positive steps on their journey to health.

This blog is my first step back on the path to health.

Be well,
      Buttercupp

19 weeks to go

I cannot believe that I only have 19 weeks left at Post.  I really need to get into planning mode for the next Post and for training.  I get three weeks of training and consultations.  And then Home Leave - a.k.a. relaxation.  During my Home Leave I have to buy the bits and pieces that I still need to get for the next Post.  I also have to find a place for my hubby to live (and me to visit when I get my R&Rs) and a car for him to drive.  We also have to figure out where our shipments are going to go and what goes in what shipment so that we aren't scrambling.  Ugh.  This is probably the worst part of my job - the PCS transition time.

So here is my mini-list of things to do this week:
1. write a list of things I need to take with me to the next Post
2. go through paperwork at home to figure out what I will need to hand carry and what can be packed
3. start talking to family about who we can stay with when we are on Home Leave
4. write a list of what I still want to see in Hong Kong and what I want to buy
5. mail out gifts to people before we leave
6. stay in my calorie budget
7. workout at least 5 times this week
8. go watch a movie at Ladies Night on Friday at the MH with co-workers
9. start looking at the cost of the things that I need for next Post and figure out a shopping and shipping schedule

I have a countdown now and I need to make sure that I meet or beat my deadlines.

A lady with attitude

I like ladies with attitude and one of my favorites is the lovely P!nk.  She really kicks some booty on the charts - her voice is so distinctive and powerful and her videos are always so much fun to watch.  She is a talented dancer which is evident in every video and live performance.  She also is super fit.  I mean look how quickly she bounced back after having her child.  She works hard at everything she does - plus she has wicked awesome hair!  Wish I worked in an industry where I could dye my hair all sorts of colors....

Here are a few videos of hers that I think you all will like.  First up is "Try" - apparently this video is controversial back in the US.  I just think it is awesome.

Next is a song that I think is really powerful.  It is somewhat related to my earlier post about drinking - I am happy to say that I have stuck to my guns.  I declined several drinks last weekend and last night as well.  Anyway - I hope that you will all enjoy the next song, "Sober".

And now for something a little bit more fun.  "Get This Party Started" - it was an anthem while I was at university and I danced my buns off to this song on more than one occasion.

And now for another song that I really identified with and still do to some degree.  "Just Like A Pill" is a bit dark and powerful.

Working on working out

In order to get under 200lbs this year and into a pair of size 14 jeans I have been working on getting fitter.  I am tracking my food, tracking my workouts, and also cooking a bit more at home.

I have been tracking my food three different ways – I am using Spark People, Weight Watchers Online, and a paper tracker.  This may be overkill for some people, but I have found that having to update the three different spots has made me be more vigilant.  I actually DO write stuff what I have eaten either right before I eat it or within an hour of eating it.  And that is massive progress!

I have also been working out every day in one form or another.  On Mondays and Wednesdays I work out with two co-workers at the small gym at work.  I basically do 35mins or more on the treadmill at a speed of 3mi per hour.  That may not seem like a lot to most people, but for me at over 280lbs I have to say that it is fairly impressive.  I have also been doing the Leslie Sansone dvd “Walk Away the Pounds”.  I have been doing the 1mile walk without weights and I really REALLY find her too perky.  But I do get sweaty when doing the workout so that means that I am actually burning calories. 

I am sort of active on Pinterest (name a woman that doesn’t enjoy that site) and I set up a board called “Health Stuff”.  On it I have been posting workouts and healthy eating tips.  Thanks to other folks pinning things I found an excellent site called Back On Pointe.  It is written by a dance student and has several different workouts  on it.  I have printed out a fair few of them onto index cards and I pull one out on the days that I don’t do the dvd so that I get extra calorie burns in during the week.  I still hate exercising, but I am doing it.  I am also discovering new exercises.  I have yet to do some of them, but I am trying to learn how to do them.  Things like burpees, Russian twists, planks, and star jumps.  I thought a star jump was a jumping jack, but it turns out that I was wrong.  Check out YouTube if you want to learn how to do these exercises.  I will post some of my preferred or more challenging workouts that I have attempted in a few weeks so that you can try them out too.

As a part of the Bat Fit movement I have been dancing at least 15mins every day as well.  I am not tracking the dancing as a workout, but it is another step to being fitter.  I recommend everybody dance a little every day.  It really does perk up the spirits.

My hubby and I going to try to cook at home every meal for a week.  This will be really hard for us as this town can have anything delivered at any time.  Also getting groceries is a pain the behind as you have to go to twelve different places to get ingredients.  So I am setting up a meal list, figuring out the ingredients that need to be purchased, and then sorting out the stores that I need to go to in order to find everything.  I have a feeling that there will be a fair amount of pasta and rice, but sensible portions of course.  I will also try to have a good amount of protein for every meal as I have found that it really keeps me more full.  I am also going to be really upping my vegetable and fruit intake.  I eat way too much bread and fried foods.  So I am trying to retrain my brain.  Sadly I always tend to fall into the trap of eating junk whenever I feel bad or bored.  So now I need to make myself crave more whole foods instead of the processed junk. 

This working out and eating better is a struggle, but it will be worth it.  This is a total lifestyle change and it’s something that a lot of people are doing so I know it’s possible.  How long it takes for me to get it to be a way of life….well, that might take a while, but I think I can get there.

Be well,

       Buttercup

A voice like honey

Okay, this week it is all about Darius Rucker.  First he was in Hootie and the Blowfish - you can't tell me you haven't heard of them?  He has since gone on to have a successful country music career.

Hootie and the Blowfish - "Only Wanna Be With You"

Darius Rucker - "Come Back Song"

The man's voice is like honey! Hope you enjoy.

Rockin' Ladies

Today's Audibles brings to your ears some rockin' ladies.

My first offering is Lacuna Coil - an Italian rock band.  There is a male and a female lead, but she tends to be the main singer.  I think that this video is hilarious and the fact that they can poke fun at themselves is great.  I appreciate that they are singing in a foreign language (for them) and I admit that their lyrics in their music are fascinating. 

Lacuna Coil - "I Like It"

And for something a little bit different - the Mediaeval Baebes.  I saw these ladies live at the Maryland Renaissance Fest a few years ago and they are amazing live.  I was unable to find a live version of this song, but this is one of my favorites!

Mediaeval Baebes - "Ecce Chorus Virginum"

Let me know what you think!

A Decision for 2013 - For Me

This year I am working on things for me.  While what I hope to accomplish this year may reap some benefits for others around me - gifts that I make, a happier me to be around - I am doing it for me.  This may seem selfish to some, but honestly, I am afraid that if I don't get myself right this year that I may be in trouble in the future.

My obesity affects my health and how people treat me.  I know I am treated differently due to my vast size.  There is most certainly fat discrimination at work in all of the social and work things that I am invited to or excluded from.  In the past I have compensated for these hurt feelings by drinking.  This made me more "fun".  But if I drink too much then my dark side comes out - I get angry, depressed, and occasionally embarrass myself.  I have been abstaining from alcohol in recent months to avoid becoming like some of my family members (there is a history of substance abuse amongst some of them).  New Year's Eve saw me a bit inebriated and I fell over my own feet onto my butt and side.  I have a horrendous bruise on my upper arm and one thigh. And some bruised pride as well.  I also did the calorie calculations and I drank about the same amount in a few hours that I should eat in a day.  Frightening!  Over 1,400 calories in liquids is a scary number.

So I have made a decision.  A simple one, but one that I needed to make.  I am limiting myself to four alcoholic drinks a week and a maximum of two drinks in a day.  Yep - twice a week I can have two drinks or four times a week I can have a drink.  But no more than that.  That will limit my calories to about 600 calories on alcohol at the most in a week out of  9,800 calories for a week.

It's a small thing to do, but I think that this will help me tremendously.

I am also being diligent about my calorie tracking - my intake and my output (intentional exercise).  This is the start of a new me - a more together me.

Audibles - inaugural post!

As this is my first Audibles post I thought I would introduce you all to some of my favorite music.  My musical leanings are scattered, but I tend to lean more towards music with guitars and big vocals.

First up is what my hubby and I would have danced to if we had had dancing at our wedding.

Bella Morte doing their version of Earth Angel.

Next up is the group Apocalyptica - heavy metal on the cello!

This is a live version of "Path" by Apocalyptica.

My heavy side is about to show...more.  I love this group's guitar riffs and the vocals are mesmerizing!

Disturbed's video of their song "Prayer".

Here is a song that makes me smile every time I hear it.  It reminds me of family car trips and of my southern roots.

Alan Jackson's "Chattahoochie".

The final bit of music to tickle your fancy is a mash-up that my hubby introduced me to.  I can't get this song out of my head sometimes...

The complete mash-up title is "I Want A BulletProof Dancer".

Each week I will post a song or two that I like.  I hope that some of these are things that you will like.  Or maybe you will discover something you had never heard before...